My Mind's (Crossed) Eye

Hunger may have been the reason my brains started falling out my ears tonight, after 5 hrs in the GWU computer lab, but I suspect it is something else. My recent struggle to synthesize and crystallize vast amounts of information has been causing me to question my intelligence. If I can't make sense of all these courses in International Education - then why the H am I wasting my time?

Then it struck me, my strength is "Connectedness." And my strength (though the Strengths Finders assessment failed to confirm it) is "Ideation."

Ideation: My brain postures itself like a butterfly catcher. Hyper-vigilant, all senses attuned to catch a glimpse of a brightly colored wing - and then POUNCE! That's how I feel about ideas. Every day, the hope of snatching a new specimen for my collection sets me on the edge of my bus seat & keeps me a little breathless. Today. Today I felt the thrill. Uncovered the most unbelievable concept. Rushed to tell my Male & Female "Creative Partners" & they validated my twitching excitement. My brain LIVES to excrete lovely ideas. But this activity often distracts me from synthesizing ideas, because instead of building up I reach out...

Connectedness: My brain builds bridges from new information to old information, problems to solvers, needs to givers, etc. etc. etc. Any one thing I know is connected to every other thing I know (or is blindly reaching out to be). So instead of being like a file cabinet, sorted and orderly, it's like a blind spider building a Guinness Book of World Records size spider web using only its sense of touch. And while the threads all cross each other, they don't build something strong and sturdy. Just a fragile ever expanding network.


I'm not going to give up on my education. Thinking is generally a very pleasant task for me. But today just exhausting. At least I've reached some conclusions about why. May new ways of learning & synthesizing reveal themselves to me, so I can add them to my mental toolbox before I graduate! Fingers crossed.