Sunday, February 21, 2010

Baseball Cards and Ice Cream

For the first time since I lived in Malawi (?), I made ColdStone-style ice cream at home. The peanut butter and granola mixed perfectly into the Dreyers that was sitting in my freezer. This is the longest a carton of ice cream has survived in my freezer - I usually don't have this caliber of self control. It makes me feel justified in having bought it. Ice cream seems so sweet to me lately, though, that I almost have to work up the courage to eat a scoop. The same way I feel when I jump in the pool for the first time, when I'm still dry through and through.

The last month has been completely disorienting - in an enjoyable way. Truly like one of those Grab Bag's you buy at weird stores & they have all kinds of surprise trinkets in them. Those never were my style, because I hate gambling and always suspected I'd get the one full of cotton balls and twigs.

BUT... those 50 cent baseball card slot machines - now that was a gamble I could get behind. Eames and I ended up  with a lot of crap cards that way at Larry's Card Shop on Taylor Road. But the thrill was worth it and Larry always put out. (I'm not referencing the fact that he was later charged with child molestation.) There were few places I'd rather be as a pre-teen than at Collector's Paradise, opening surprise packs of MLB cards. The brands Fleer, Upper Deck, and Topps still make my heart skip a beat. Why did I love baseball cards so? It's a mystery to me.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Exorcism

Just because you wake up at noon doesn't mean you get to eat peach pancakes AND a tuna melt. That was a bad idea. Brunch is one meal not two. Two meals in one makes it impossible to do pilates without retching. So I won't do pilates just now. Also, I hate how foggy my water glasses get. They need a good scrubbing. What I'd like to know, though, is what the hell the Grey's Anatomy writers are going to do with the good looking blue eyed black Mercy West surgeon. His minor character status gives me a twitch. I'd also like to give up coffee witch makes me twitch. But if I don't drink it and don't twitch will I get any work done? I think it's strange that INFJ's like me are the smallest segment of the population. Is it 1.5% or something? I was thinking about that when considering the type of a boy. He has the same type as one of my ex-roommates. I like her and I like him. But differently. What is this apartment going to look like when all the excess furniture is gone? There will be space to twirl and teach a yoga class if I want. Minimalism is what I've always wanted. My dream is just around the river bend. I'd like a record player and records. I'd also like to cut half of my hair into bangs grow the rest to my waist. I'd like to live at the beach for a month without American anxiety over unproductiveness. P.S. If you are mean to me, I will take your face out of my picture coaster. But if you are nice I will put it back in.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Talking in My Sleep

Dream: I am killing monsters & trying to protect a beloved group of people. But I am feeling great guilt every time I strike one of these monsters, because I sense that they are really just people dressed up in monster costumes. No one else seems to be aware of this, though. So I keep charging ahead, supressing the conviction.

Interpretation: Last night, during my reading, I finally found a shred of empathy for the European settlers who felt the need to civilize the savages. They were trying to protect their families and order, and considered gross human rights abuses and cultural (sometimes complete) genocide to be the only strategy to accomplish that.

Conclusion: WTF

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Violent Voice of Weather

When the weather works this hard to get your attention, you sure as hell better pay attention. This blizzard has turned my life upside down and inside out, baptizing me in its flurries and drifts, and never will I be the same. Hallelujah, amen.

This storm revived
the awe-inspired child in me,
the love-struck but quickly broken-hearted teenager,
the professionally motivated East-coaster, the fun-loving Californian,
the bibliophile,
the spiritual mystic,
the photographer and painter,
the sensualist and the idealist
both greed and selflessness.

Every facet of myself roamed the space of this unexpected vacation from "real life." Of course, it felt more "real" than normal life ever does. Must this upheaval end? Keep snowing, generous sky. You have returned to me my broken parts, and for that I am grateful. Stay.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

from "The Legacy of Native American Boarding Schools"

"A 2001 report by the Truth Commission into Genocide in Canada documents the responsibility of the Roman Catholic Church, the United Church of Canada, the Anglican Church of Canada, and the federal government in the deaths of more than 50,000 Native children in the Canadian residential school system.
The report says church officials killed children by beating, poisoning, electric shock, starvation, prolonged exposure to sub-zero cold while naked, and medical experimentation, including the removal of organs and radiation exposure. In 1928 Alberta passed legislation allowing school officials to forcibly sterilize Native girls; British Columbia followed suit in 1933. There is no accurate toll of forced sterilizations because hospital staff destroyed records in 1995 after police launched an investigation. But according to the testimony of a nurse in Alberta, doctors sterilized entire groups of Native children when they reached puberty. The report also says that Canadian clergy, police, and business and government officials “rented out” children from residential schools to pedophile rings.
The consequences of sexual abuse can be devastating. “Of the first 29 men who publicly disclosed sexual abuse in Canadian residential schools, 22 committed suicide,” says Gerry Oleman, a counselor to residential school survivors in British Columbia.
Randy Fred (Tsehaht First Nation), a 47-year-old survivor, told the British Columbia Aboriginal Network on Disability Society, “We were kids when we were raped and victimized. All the plaintiffs I've talked with have attempted suicide. I attempted suicide twice, when I was 19 and again when I was 20. We all suffered from alcohol abuse, drug abuse. Looking at the lists of students [abused in the school], at least half the guys are dead.”
The Truth Commission report says that the grounds of several schools contain unmarked graveyards of murdered school children, including babies born to Native girls raped by priests and other church officials in the school. Thousands of survivors and relatives have filed lawsuits against Canadian churches and governments since the 1990s, with the costs of settlements estimated at more than $1 billion. Many cases are still working their way through the court system.
While some Canadian churches have launched reconciliation programs, U.S. churches have been largely silent. Natives of this country have also been less aggressive in pursuing lawsuits. Attorney Tonya Gonnella-Frichner (Onondaga) says that the combination of statutes of limitations, lack of documentation, and the conservative makeup of the current U.S. Supreme Court make lawsuits a difficult and risky strategy. Nonetheless, six members of the Sioux Nation who say they were physically and sexually abused in government-run boarding schools filed a class-action lawsuit this April against the United States for $25 billion on behalf of hundreds of thousands of mistreated Native Americans. 
Native activists within church denominations are also pushing for resolutions that address boarding school abuses. This July the first such resolution will go before the United Church of Christ, demanding that the church begin a process of reconciliation with Native communities. Activists also point out that while the mass abductions ended with the 1934 Indian Reorganization Act (IRA), doctors, lawyers, and social workers were still removing thousands of children from their families well into the 1970s. Even today, “Indian parents continue to consent to adoptions after being persuaded by 'professionals' who promise that their child will fare better in a white, middle-class family,” according to a report by Lisa Poupart for the Crime and Social Justice Associates."
Amnesty Magazine
http://www.amnestyusa.org/amnestynow/soulwound.html 



Monday, February 8, 2010

143

When the world allows you to slap yourself in the face, turn the other cheek. But don't slap yourself again.

"We don't publish Slice of Life pieces"

7am: Dream about grandparents, want to linger in their presence, hit snooze button til 1030am

10:30am: Surf the web, amputate the hand of morning as it offers an olive branch

11am: Special K w/ red berries (why can't they just call them dehydrated strawberries?), day old coffee w/ White Chocolate creamer, & Community on Hulu

12pm: Scribe a 40 min voice-recorded interview w/ the director of One World Education. Enjoy the task - maybe because I'm passionate about the work this org is doing. Maybe because caffeine causes me to love anything that moves.

1pm: Hanker after more coffee. Drink water instead. Hanker after EatPrayLove. Read Renovation of the Heart instead. Hanker after Hulu. Do yoga poses instead. Hanker after lovemaking. Begin writing the One World Education query instead.

2pm: Discover Washington Family & Washington Parent magazines & consider which publication to query with potential articles. Decide to pursue world domination and query both with different articles.

3pm: Kashmir Spinach/Paneer & Basmati Rice with a side of EatPrayLove.

3:30pm: Hash out some financial details w/ ex-roommate, take a few righteous blows to my ego, emerge humbled and grateful. Slightly dizzy, try to go back to work.

5:15pm: More yoga poses. More coffee.

6pm: Abandon all hope of professional success and head down to Chinatown for beer & Trivia Night.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Shooting Blanks

Beautiful and entirely memorable blizzard - Check.

New roommate - Check.

World domination - Check.

Clean apartment - Check.

Bliss - Check.

Homework completed - __________________.

I'm entirely ok with this checklist. Maybe the yellow brick road will reveal itself tomorrow!

Saturday, February 6, 2010

How to Train Your Blizzard

Yesterday was a lovely series of exercises in Do the Right Thing and Love It. Listening to Gregorian chants while scrubbing the bathtub, reading EatPrayLove/calling-loved-ones instead of watching stupid CW sitcoms, eating popcorn instead of cookies, taking steps 2 & 3 in my art project du jour, stretching & breathing. Everything EXCEPT doing homework.

In order for today to be successful, the yellow brick road of academic diligence must reveal itself to me - and soon! (My coffee table coasters mock my drive, "Live - Laugh - Love." Well, that's exactly what I would do if I were a coaster (?), BUT I HAPPEN TO BE A GRADUATE STUDENT thankyouverymuch.)


No, true, I think I need to loosen my grip on today. But not so loose that it turns into the lovely wintry bliss that was yesterday. Today = Productive (or else).

This blizzard beckons me to snowball fights and cozy games of Risk with neighbors. New York, I Love You downloaded on my laptop. Brownie baking projects. More apartment organization. Hours of EatPrayLove. Pilates DVD's. Why must the day be short? Or does my hours of Facebook frittering amputate the day's open arms? I will not! I will run into your embrace, Day! Take me as I am and let's make something beautiful and memorable together! Another cup of coffee? Sure!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

The Greatest

This passage reminds me of the Jewish people's anxious anticipation of a messiah. Simeon's delight at having discovered this treasure above all treasures is contagious, and he reminds me I have found this precious thing - a savior. How I take that for granted, and even sometimes consider it a burden. It is not a burden - it is the greatest love, the greatest freedom - that He is here with me.


Luke 2:25-32


25Now there was a man in Jerusalem called Simeon, who was righteous and devout. He was waiting for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was upon him. 26It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not die before he had seen the Lord's Christ. 27Moved by the Spirit, he went into the temple courts. When the parents brought in the child Jesus to do for him what the custom of the Law required, 28Simeon took him in his arms and praised God, saying: 

 
29"Sovereign Lord, as you have promised,
      you now dismiss
 your servant in peace.
 
30For my eyes have seen your salvation,
    
31which you have prepared in the sight of all people,
 
32a light for revelation to the Gentiles
      and for glory to your people Israel."

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

So many little surprises found in the today's pockets. I'm gonna keep digging around. Who KNOWS what I'll find!

Monday, February 1, 2010