Drunk on Tears

Alright, I've deactivated Facebook account again in my quest to bring stillness and order to my chaotic life. Aiming for baseline. I've been reading Thomas Merton's The Wisdom of the Desert (collection of stories of the desert fathers & mothers) - my roommate's. The morals and logic of these devout monks and nuns strike me as potentially insane, but the book definitely falls in the category of Bringing Me Back to Baseline. I should go back to Merton's New Seeds of Contemplation. And some Nouwen must be in store. Dallas Willard is a current go to, with Spirit of the Disciplines. These men. Where are the women? I should read some Nin, but I think she scares me a little right now. She is so     woman. I think I am fleeing my fluidity and openness (which she would call female and good) in the structure and routines that are masculine. I am currently on lockdown. Though realistically Merton and Nouwen are about as androgynous as men get, and they are my go-to? Maybe. Deeply masculine just wouldn't make ANY sense to me, I'm sure. Some Kathleen Norris would be a good counter. No poetry though. Too many tissues already used up. I could really go for a Grand Slam Breakfast right now...