From the Mouths of Bed-Wetters

Ok, so I teach first grade. Perhaps I am partial to the wisdom that comes from 6 year-olds. Not to mention the kick-ass hilarious things they say. (I.E. when i found two male students wrestling on the playground and asked them what they were doing and they announced giggling that they were bouncing their balls against each other. Seriously? Seriously.) (Or, i.e., when practicing sh- words a girl student wrote these sentences: I told my brother to shut up and he did. My dad yelled shit when he lost his shoes.) So when my mom showed me an assignment in which first graders finished the beginnings of old proverbs with their own thoughtful conclusions, I couldn't get enough. I've selected a few zingers. 

It's always darkerst before...

Daylight Savings Time.

Never underestimate the power of... 

termites.

A miss is as good as a... 

mister.

You can lead a horse to water but...

how?

Don't bite the hand that... 

looks dirty.

An idle mind is... 

the best way to relax.

A penny saved is...

not much.

Don't put off till tomorrow what...

you put on to go to bed.

Laugh and the whole world laughs at you, cry and...

you have to blow your nose.

If at first you don't succeed...

get new batteries.

You only get out of something what you...

see in the picture on the box.

A bird in the hand... 

is going to poop on you.

Children should be seen and not... 

spanked or grounded.

BEST OF ALL

Better late than...

pregnant.

So, in conclusion, my proverb is "If you don't have enough joy in your life, laugh at children."